Life Experience, World

Valentine’s ~YAY~

Last year I posted a little something about self-love for Valentine’s Day. I’d decided to spoil myself by eating a tonne of chocolate, watching an excellent film and tucking into a yum takeaway, because it was my first Valentine’s Day for a while that I’d been single. And it was GREAT.

This year, I’ll be not-so-single on the 14th. However, that doesn’t mean we’ll be fighting for candle-lit tables, spreading rose petals on the duvet (messy), or being generally heart-eyed and gooey. We’ve booked a table in our fave restaurant for a few days before V-Day and I’m going to try my hardest to enforce my biblical rules for the day, which I drew up last year:

  1. Clear at least an evening of any plans or work
  2. Line up a few of your favourite and most-loved films or TV shows
  3. Get in your favourite food, whether that’s something you love to cook, or ordering from the Chinese takeaway down the road
  4. Add some snacks to your shopping list – my favourites are cookies, shortbread, Magic Stars, Galaxy chocolate and Kettle Chips (maybe not all at once!)
  5. If you drink and, like me, love a good rose, get in some of your favourite alcohol that you wouldn’t normally have during the week

The great thing about these ‘rules’ (lol) is that you can be chill and do these whether you’re tucked up on your own or not. I’m adamant that these are still my plans, and that Valentine’s Day should also be a day of self-love, no matter who you spend it with.

You might have a partner-in-crime, but don’t you dare start neglecting no.1 (that’s you).

Life Experience

Dive into the Eye of the Storm

A lot of what goes through a person when they experience pain or heartache is torture. We’ve all been there, we’ve all grieved for someone we love, we’ve all been hurt, it’s what makes us human.

I’ve done a lot of thinking over the last few weeks, and I’ve had a lot of time to myself to consider what direction I’m going in, and where I’ve been. I’ve been stuck, really. But I think a large part of being hurt is experiencing time standing still and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. You need time to contemplate and to heal, there’s no other way of repairing the damage.

What I’m trying to say, and what I’ve figured out, is that you have to weather the storm. You have to go through the darkness to reach the light. You have to listen to the tear-jerking break up songs and you have to go through the emotional moments. You just have to, otherwise you don’t get fixed. A lot of the time it is up to you and you alone to pick yourself up and dust yourself down. You may have a loving and strong support network, but there is only so much that your mum can do for your over the phone. Your friends and family can listen to you and love you, but ultimately it is down to you to get better.

It’s hard, I’m not saying it isn’t and I’m not even at the end of my journey yet. But I know that the next few weeks, or whatever will just make me a better person. I know it’s going to hurt, but I’m not prepared to hide from everything and bubble-wrap myself. I’m going to walk right into the eye of the storm and I’m going to come out of the other side a better person.

I should really blog more often…

storms

Life Experience, Writing

Only Me: Part 4

I was really shocked when you left. Devastated, in fact. I cried for hours. I was sick and unwell.

My heart bled and my chest had caved in. I have a hole in my heart, where you used to be. But I have been patching the edges of the hole back together, and now there is no room for you anymore.

My heart is for me and the people around me; my family and my friends have my heart. Your piece is grey and dry and crumbles beneath your touch.

You are not really anything to me now, other than a back hole that I have almost finished fixing.

 

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