Well hasn’t this been an interesting week! Essentially, I’ve finished my first year of university – at about 4:30am last Friday morning to be completely precise when I handed in my final essay – and I’m sitting here thinking where the hell has the time gone?! It’s safe to say that I’ve made some amazing friends, lost some amazing friends and miss some – mainly those from home who I don’t see all that much any more. This will change over the summer, I’ve decided to dedicate myself to keeping up with everyone that I love because I don’t want them to think that I’ve forgotten them. This isn’t to say that university is all about making friends, oh no. I’ve realised this lately. University is – would you believe it – a period of three years in which to gain the knowledge and skills that you’ll need in your future career. Not for making friends. Sure, this is a perk of uni and all that, but it hit me in the face the other day that as everyone’s going home at the moment, back to their real lives in their real homes, they’ll probably forget about each other for a time and things will go relatively back to how they were before uni. And then this led me to think: well what happens after uni? We’ll all go off, searching for our different callings in life and make yet more friends. And forget about some of the ones we made here. And then, we’ll get different jobs. Life is constantly about leaving people you love behind. Sure, you’ll never completely forget them, but they won’t be present in your life forever. It’s hard to understand if you’ve been out of school for a good few years, but you don’t realise until your very last year of school that you’re most likely not going to interact with any of these people again that you’ve spent at least 5 years with. And here I am, getting all ‘down in the dumps’ (really not) about growing up, but then I think to myself that life is going to be full of opportunities and that I can do anything I want in life. Anyone can.. And this is when good ol’ Marty McFly comes into it: “If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything”. I’m all happy now.. might have to go watch Back to the Future. That’ll top it off. You should do the same. Yes
She’s got it all. She’s got everything that I want and, truth is, I’m jealous. I want the innocence, the lack of knowing what’s coming, the naivety that surrounds her. The thought that every time she takes a step forward, she’s doing it with confidence and the ability to grasp the world with both her hands.
And then there’s the other one. The one who’s already achieved everything that she wants in life; she’s experienced it, she’s where she wants to be. She’s been through the dark and come out into the glorious sunshine, basking in its warmth, content and pleased with herself.
Yet here I am, trapped within the days of 2012, the hours, the minutes, the very seconds that keep me here, struggling on, still going through tribulations that I know I will have to solve. Nothing is easy, nothing is simple. Admittedly, I’m jealous of her in the past and I envy her in the future. The innocence and the success.
But there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.
As you know, I’ve finished my academic time at Brigshaw and I’m waiting to go to York St John on Sunday, so I guess- wait, what?! Sunday?! Sunday. That’s four days away, oh dear God. I don’t know how I’ll go on. But all will be fine. So everyone keeps telling me.
Anyway. This evening I’ve been to Brigshaw for a kind of ‘award ceremony’ so that they can sing praises to various people and hand them some awards that have been in the possession of the school since before the prehistoric period, and they’ve also used it as a final goodbye sort of thing. Well, I was surprised to find that I got more worked up than I thought. As I was talking to some of my friends who I’ve known since I was 11 (besides one who I’ve known since I was 3 or 4) it hit me that I might not see any of these people for a very, very long time, if ever again. How can it be that I’ve spent a whole 7 years with these people and now we’re all drifting off to meet brand new friends and forget the ones that we had? Of course, I won’t be forgetting the majority of them any time soon (the fact that there are the odd few that I’ll be glad to be shot of is irrelevant) and then I thank the Lord for the wonderful gift of Facebook. Yes, crude, I know, but you see, this tool has allowed me to begin talking to people that I’m going to be living with for the next year (or thereabouts) of my life. Marvellous! And it will also allow me to keep in relatively close touch with my dear friends from Brigshaw. Technology is not so cruel after all, providing that it works, God forbid when it doesn’t -_- .
So I guess it’s time for me to say a fond farewell to Brigshaw after all these years and the good people that are in it, I will definitely miss them. But, I’ve told myself not to dwell on the past and to concentrate on the here and now when I reach university. It is going to be impossible to keep in touch with everyone all the time, heck, I have friends in Germany, Italy and the Czech Republic who I find it difficult to keep track of, but they never disappear from my mind. I’m certain that we’ll all have some kind of reunion in years to come and if we don’t, then we should just erase the 7 years at Brigshaw and pretend it never happened. Which is ridiculous.