Life Experience

Dive into the Eye of the Storm

A lot of what goes through a person when they experience pain or heartache is torture. We’ve all been there, we’ve all grieved for someone we love, we’ve all been hurt, it’s what makes us human.

I’ve done a lot of thinking over the last few weeks, and I’ve had a lot of time to myself to consider what direction I’m going in, and where I’ve been. I’ve been stuck, really. But I think a large part of being hurt is experiencing time standing still and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. You need time to contemplate and to heal, there’s no other way of repairing the damage.

What I’m trying to say, and what I’ve figured out, is that you have to weather the storm. You have to go through the darkness to reach the light. You have to listen to the tear-jerking break up songs and you have to go through the emotional moments. You just have to, otherwise you don’t get fixed. A lot of the time it is up to you and you alone to pick yourself up and dust yourself down. You may have a loving and strong support network, but there is only so much that your mum can do for your over the phone. Your friends and family can listen to you and love you, but ultimately it is down to you to get better.

It’s hard, I’m not saying it isn’t and I’m not even at the end of my journey yet. But I know that the next few weeks, or whatever will just make me a better person. I know it’s going to hurt, but I’m not prepared to hide from everything and bubble-wrap myself. I’m going to walk right into the eye of the storm and I’m going to come out of the other side a better person.

I should really blog more often…

storms

Misc.

Winter Warmers

Winter is on its way in and I’m wearing the most snuggly thing that I own – a wooly poncho with a huge turtle neck. One of IMG_20151005_195745my favourite things about the colder months is wearing thick, warm jumpers and massive slippers, sometimes with fluffy socks on as well. (You’ve got to do when you’re living poor in a shared house where the heating is never turned on).

I love being able to get a coffee or hot chocolate from Starbucks without overheating and I love wearing gloves. I love having long hair in winter so I can snuggle in it (but it’s refusing to grow for me right now!) and I love my long, warm PJs.

Summer is great and all but my heart lies in the cold, where I can wrap up and my rosy cheeks aren’t necessarily out of place.

Life Experience, Misc.

Hairy Scary

If you live in the UK, you’ll know about the vicious weather we’ve had in the last few days. To put it simply; it’s been vile. Yesterday, however, was something special. Rain, as it does, appeared out of nowhere and before anyone had chance to think, everywhere was pretty much flooded. Luckily, Sam and I missed the flooding as we were driving from Castleford to York but we didn’t miss out in being in the middle of torrential weather.

Coming onto the A64 dual carriageway, we experienced something that I never knew could happen to a car (and we’re still not 100% sure on what actually happened). It felt like a huge gust of wind started pushing the car from right to left, completely turning the tires and affecting Sam’s steering. The car, trying to get itself to lose control locked the wheels into the left position and Sam had to force it back over to the right. Because of this, the car flew from one side of the road to the other many times and, honestly, I thought that was it. I thought we were done for. Luckily, it was over pretty much as soon as it began and Sam got the car under control again. It’s just a good job that it was late Saturday evening and there were barely any other cars on the road. Had it been a different time of day, the story might have ended a lot differently.

When we got home, I told Sam that I loved him because even though nothing happened it was still bloody terrifying! All is well, however, and everyone is ay-okay!

Misc., World

Bring on the sunshine

The last couple of days have been really nice and not just because of what we’ve been doing. Yesterday we had a friend visit us to exchange belated Christmas presents and then we had a lovely walk around town (this ended in buying a giant cookie from Millie’s Cookies as well, so there’s that) and it was just nice, it was different. But all of this aside, what makes the foundations of a day great for me is what the weather’s doing. And these last two days it’s been lovely.

February sunshine, crisp and cold, it’s fresh and it’s a tiny sign of spring. To me, it’s a sign that things are looking up, it’s unreal how much dark mornings and dark evenings affect me, but they are finally coming to a close. It makes such a difference when getting up at 6am to see a sliver of light in the distance, it’s wonderful.

And today, on a chilled out Sunday, the sun is shining in the garden (not the house because our windows are so badly positioned!) and the sky is blue, blue, blue. I’m so excited for the springtime it’s untrue, to wear nice dresses again and nice light jackets, sunglasses, pumps, shorts, ooh! Bring it on.

Here is the sunset from yesterday which I couldn’t resist taking a picture of on Lendal bridge just like all the other tourists.

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Education, Life Experience, Misc.

English Flurries

A mad flurry of snow smacked the cold window as though it wanted to burst through to the warmth of the classroom, followed by the obligatory mad flurry of children dashing to look outside. “Omg it’s snowing!!” “Everybody look, it’s snowing!!” “Omg will we have a snow day??” “I’m gonna go sledging!!”

Let me just stop you right there, dears. 1) This is England. Yup, it’s pretty chilly 90% of the year, but the snow is never that treacherous. 2) If it really got that bad, do you really think we’d let you outside? 3) It’s only weather, I’m pretty sure you’ve seen snow before, sit down.

I don’t get it. I don’t remember being that painfully obsessed with snow that I would jump out of my seat and press my nose against the window, steaming it up with my teenage breath. I used to like it, sure, it looks pretty, I guess and it was pretty fun to play in. But I’m 22 now, places to be, people to see, no time for fun and games of the outdoors variety. It’s a pain. The whole of England, even though we hardly get any, decides to come to a painful standstill when the shite* stuff falls and no one can continue with normal life. Public transport, roads, paths, any means of travel are history and it’s highly, ridiculously unnecessary.

Anyhow. Kids, ya need to calm down when the flurries come, it’s not that big of a deal. Seriously. God I hope it’s gone by tomorrow…

* typo that should have been white, but I decided to keep it because as I typed it I snorted and the other people in the room gave me sideways glance…

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World

Hot and Freezing

We’ve all seen Frozen right? Right. You have Anna, struck by Elsa’s magical powers in the heart and powering on to reach the one she loves despite freezing from the inside out. This is a pretty accurate resemblance to what I experienced this morning in my way to work. Biting cold wind froze me completely so much so that I started to struggle to walk and my feet felt like literal pieces of ice, just as Anna’s start to towards the end of the film. They’re cracking inside her boots and she’s struggling to walk and let me just tell you it’s not bloody far off from what I was feeling this morning.

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But then (another one of these yep, they’re gonna be frequent) I saw the sunrise, so purple and orange and yellow and pink all at the same time and I sort of got warm inside. Sort of, I was still almost stopped from how cold it was but there was a flame of warmth in me. And it was so beautiful I had to stop and take a couple of pictures in front of all the confused cyclist making their way to work and such. I love sunrises and sunsets and you will hear more about my experiences with them because they literally brighten my day…hur hur.

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Life Experience

17 Degrees and Light Showers

Hi, hello, hi, erm in case you weren’t aware, it’s August. The eight month of the year in which summer is supposed to greet us Brits with warm and luscious sunshine. Ahem. It’s thundered, it’s lightened and it’s rained buckets all over the past week – we’re lucky that York’s river hasn’t burst its banks yet. And here I am whining about the weather again, but seriously though. It’s August, my complaints are perhaps more legitimate than they usually are. 

Rainy days are the time for watching films and God bless Netflix because I am watching The Desolation of Smaug FINALLY. The only time I’ve actually watched it is on the plane from Mexico and let me tell you, I wasn’t in the most concentrated mood. So I’ve got The Hobbit on, and the rain at the window and to be frank, it’s quite peaceful. Maybe that’s because everybody’s at work or out at the minute, but it’s nice and chilled – other than the bright yellow light in the middle of the living room; I don’t think the landlord has heard of mood lighting. At least I can see.

As I’m sure you know by now, I am constantly forgetting to update this blog, which doesn’t do it justice because I’ve been doing it for about five years now and it deserves updating. There’s never anything interesting to say though which is why I’m here writing a post about nothing in particular. The weather seems to be my favourite topic so it seems that all I can do is small-talk. Small-blog hehe. Okay. Enough of that. 

I’m starting two new jobs soon (two very different ones at that) so there should be some interesting stories come out of those. Unless you don’t like trains, but I’ll get into that later.

Please have a very happy week, I know it’s Monday but it’ll be Friday soon and I’ll find some sort of topic before you can say WordPress. 

Thank you.